so many things, so little time

There are about half a dozen posts I have halfway up in my head right now. A short introduction:

• the how I should grow up and go to the doctor post
• this is also known as the how I'm an old lady pose
• the follow up on how much it sucks not having a family doctor and having to take all my concerns to the clinic
• the budget/finance goals post
• the how debt makes me feel post
• there's are about 4 posts of recipes I want to make (thus need to make)
• there's the new purse post
• the why I don't buy junk food post
• the what it's like supporting Bunny being back in school post
• the life list post
• the post about how a small guest list can still be a perfect guestlist
• there's the needlework post(s)
• the I want to learn pottery post
• the new clothing size post
• the why I prefer dresses to both skirts and pants post
• the wedding footwear post
• the diary entry from last night post
• the waiting to buy new clothes (and reasoning) post
• and the bra store post

This post is clearly none of those.

I didn't really ever intend for this to be a food blog. I don't particularly feel like I am currently now, or will ever really be a food blogger - although apparently I'm wrong. Because see, at the end of the day food is pretty much my world. (Which is frustrating as will be eventually addressed in the "I'm a little old lady at 26" post).

Not to say that I'm constantly eating or stuffing my face. Not to say that I have a particularly unhealthy diet, though there are certain gaping flaws that I know I have to address and repair. Not to say either that I have an unhealthy relationship with food, although historically that is true. (There may have been a slight flirtation with an eating disorder in my late teens, but nothing that I haven't dealt with).

When I say food is my world, I don't mean it in a negative way - although I sometimes wonder if there is a "positive" way to say that. I come home from work and one of the first things I do is get in the kitchen. Make dinner. Maybe bake something.

I don't go out to dinner as often as I used to, but because the budget is tight every restaurant choice is based on maximum enjoyment - so I never go out and have crap.

I don't buy junk at the grocery store because if I am going to have half a tray of cinnamon rolls, I'd much prefer that they be home made cinnamon rolls. (True story.) I'd rather not have preservatives and additives and all sorts of crap. Not everything needs to be made with high fructose corn syrup and have a million preservatives.

Food is my world in that I genuinely enjoy making a roast and gravy and smashed potatos, because I like making the cookies and thinking about the flavours as much fun as eating them. It's my life in that it is one of the most core, basic ways I show Bunny how much I love him. Cooking and baking are activities that feed my soul.

Do I get super frustrated when something doesn't go right? Sure. But I always get super frustrated. I'm a little high stress. (And that's ok! Really!)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, food is clearly very important to me. But this is not Smitten Kitchen (amazing blog though that is - she deserves a lot of love). So this is never going to be an all-out food blog. But, maybe I have to be a little bit more ok with the role food plays in my life coming out on the blog. Maybe it is very authentically me have half my posts of the week be about food.

I just need to own it. So that's what I'm going to do. Own it.

It's not a food blog, but it's a blog that loves food.