*So, for the record, these posts are often written days and/or weeks before they go up. Recipes aren't time sensitive, book reviews aren't time sensitive, and when I ramble about personal stuff I like to give myself the time to self-edit if I so want and/or need. So certain date information contained herein applies to me, as I'm writing, not the rest of the world as you're reading. And now, onward.
Today sucks. Today sucks. Today sucks. Today f&%$ing sucks.
So yes, the point is today sucks. Today, as I'm writing, is exactly two months to the day since Bunny's father died. But today doesn't suck because of that. Today sucks because of other shitty medical stuff that's going on in life right now, that I'm not 100% ready to talk about. It seems ironic to spend the two month anniversity of Poppa Bunny's death in the same ER we spent the morning in.
*Sidenote: everyone is ok. No one is seriously sick or injured. Please don't worry about that.
So today's been hard. Really, really hard. You know what, though? That's ok. It's ok to have hard, terrible, sh*tty days. They happen. Everyone gets dealt a cr*p hand sometimes. Today just happened to be my day. (Well, maybe there have been a few too many cr*p hands lately. But it'll all even out, eventually).
So here's my plan, and here's what I've been telling myself: that it is ok to be upset, and it is ok to be frustrated and hurt and annoyed. But worrying about the outcome? That's not ok. I have no control of how things work out, no matter how desperately I wish that I could affect things. This is out of my hands, and I'm going to let it go.
The waiting for information bit, though? That f*%&ing sucks.