changing the plans

I am sick of trying to plan a wedding. So sick of it, in fact, that we're not really going to do that anymore.

Bunny and I have had a harder time with this than anticipated, actually. We had a vision, up to and including a venue and guest list, more than a year in advance of even getting engaged. A wedding vision that we really loved, in fact. As things started to get closer to actually happening, though, and we started to have to put our money where our mouths were, plans changed.

The wedding we wanted was expensive. Not crazy expensive, and we could have easily afforded it (to put it in perspective, we could pay down the entire wedding that we were going to have just with our current bank balances) but spending such a chunk of money on one day makes both of us feel uncomfortable.

Then all the cr*p that's gone down this year has really made the initial wedding we planned feel not quite right for us anymore. To have twenty guests but not be able to have Poppa Bunny there just seemed like too much to handle. So we scrapped it, and I agreed that I would do the big backyard party that Bunny wanted but filled me with dread.

Done. Right? Wrong.

You see, Bunny wanted the big party, but when we got down to the nitty gritty with it he wasn't so happy. He didn't believe me when I said the guest list for a big family party would be over a hundred people, minimum, until we wrote it out together. And then BAM! We started to do a rough budget of beer and hot dogs for 150 people and he got some pretty serious cold feet, to go along with my "I'm scared of a big party" cold feet. We spent a couple of weeks going back and forth, feeling out ourselves and each other and really asking ourselves "will this make us happy."

The answer was a pretty resounding no. We can't wrap our heads around the money. Neither of us has the time, or the inclination, to do the planning. We're people who can't even be bothered to throw ourselves birthday parties (seriously, the last time I had a birthday party I was 13, and I had two guests), so should we really be all that surprised that we're not into planning a big party around our wedding? Nah.

So, we have a plan. I have attire, although we need to find some for Bunny. We have rings. We have witnesses. We just need to make one call and put a little bit of money on the credit card (well, I guess two calls since we're planning on getting a hotel for the night)  to secure the date. The need-to-haves are taken care of. We're good.