dreaming through the mls

Given all the time we've spent over the past month or so discussing finances and money and how that relates to our current and future living situation, it was time Bunny and I started seriously thinking about places to live when we leave my mother's basement. With the savings I've managed to come up with in the past couple of months and the fact that freelance money seems like it's going to be flowing pretty steadily for Bunny in the forseeable future we're starting to lean back towards waiting and buying a home; the nice fact of all this indecision is it gives us time to sit put and save while we make up our minds, and either way buying a home is a ways out.

We've both been looking at local listings lately, browsing the MLS on the web together and separately, feeling out more realistically what's available in the area. We've arrived at two really clear conclusions.

First, homes that are pretty dreamy (as in perfect kitchens, nicely designed, and with the more open concept feel that we've become fond of) are outside of our price range - but that's not a surprise. What's surprising is that they're not as far out of reach as we thought: the dream home sweet spot in our area tends to run between $250-300,000. We can't really see ourselves being comfortable spending more than $225,000 max (and that's pushing it) when we are ready to buy. Unless one of us doubles our income, but that just doesn't look realistic right now. So we're not going to get in a dream home with our first house, but that's no surprise to either of us. While I'm not a fan of house hopping and selling every five years, it's not unreasonable to think that in 10-15 we might be ready to sell and move up a little and the houses we love aren't too far from our starting point.

What is surprising is realizing that decent, liveably homes in the area are sometimes listed as low as $150-175,000. Below what we were hoping to spend, eventually. Listings at this price are available in a lot of areas including the same neighbourhood our parents live in. The idea of being a 10 minute walk away from our moms is inticing, though so is the idea of being clear across town. There are even homes just down the street from my office which is also a pretty accessible part of town in this range. The layouts aren't as open as we'd like and most of the houses we've been seeing online would need a few coats of paint and eventually I'd want to replace the cabinet doors in the kitchen, but they look liveable and they all live up to the standard set by the old townhouse we loved.

All said and done, I think we're leaving more towards waiting and buying. It's still an ongoing discussion and it probably will be right up until we close on a house. Then I'm sure they'll be negotiations about what we want to upgrade first and years down the line we'll be debating about how long to stay. It's feeling hopeful though and we're feeling pretty bright about the whole concept.

life, wherein I ramble

The shape of our lives has changed, a lot, since we've moved. It's something strange that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Luckily, we got proper mattresses here yesterday, so at least our sleep can return to normal a little.

With Bunny working in a garage, it's not like I can stop up in his office with a cup of espresso for forced coffee breaks. Since my mom won't let us pay for groceries or anything, really (we've argued about this, and eventually agreed to accept her decision and pay her in free labour around the house and yard and told her that if she wants or needs to change her mind she can), Bunny and I don't have our Tuesday night grocery shopping date. Instead, grocery shopping means driving to every grocery store in the city with my mom on Sundays, while leaving Bunny to spend time with his family, or freelancing. Because there are people everywhere, always, Bunny and I don't spend the bulk of our evening on our own in our underwear cuddling and talking and chilling out.

The changes aren't bad, they're just odd. The shape of our lives is more social now, and we've had to bend to accomodate other people and their preference, which is new. And let's be honest, I'm selfish about my time and getting enough alone time with Bunny, so I don't always want to accomodate - but I do, and it is good.

We spend time every day with my mother, and his momma, and his sister and brother in law, and our (well, almost our) neice. It's interesting seeing how this social time works into our lives, and how it's not quite as draining as normal socializing can be. I don't feel guilty when I bring a book with me to read during the day, and I pull out my cross stitch at night because it's easier to talk and stitch than talk and read. It reminds me of weekends at the cottage growing up, surrounded by my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. The desire to connect, but the recognition that everyone wants to do a little bit of their own thing at the same time.

One thing I've noticed, though, is that Bunny is eager to sneak off to our basement earlier in the evening, the better to watch the weekend's MotoGP races in privacy and to chill out together. I think we're right now trying to negotiate the family time with the us time, and I think we're doing ok. We also get a pocket of time after he gets home from work but before either my mom or his sister is home that we try to spend alone.

And hey, I've been enjoying doing the laundry. What?

growing up: cleaning style

I've never been a neat freak. I'm not an obsessive organizer or vacuumer. My definition of clean has always been more about "clean enough" than deep cleaning. In university, when I lived with roommates, my cleaniness levels tended towards the lowest common denominator: I would keep the common space as clean as the messiest of my roommates at any given time would (although admittedly my bedroom was a wormhole for clutter, always).

When I first moved in with Bunny, our space was very very small and he'd been in it awhile already. One of the secrets to making a small space seem big is that it has to be tidy. Otherwise? Complete and total mayhem, and the space practically shrinks on itself.

Moving in, I felt like a total dirt squirrel. I didn't clean anything as frequently as he did. His need to vacuum every couple of weeks felt obsessive. (Fun fact: Mama Bunny vacuums every single day. She keeps the most immaculate house.) As I began to take over chores in the house my definition of clean and his started to collide.

At first it was very clear that Bunny was the cleaner of the two. My piles of clothes on the floor drive him nuts. I have (organized) piles on two occasional tables in the living room that I need to tidy up frequently because they drive him bonkers.

Over the last year, things have been on a slow change trajectory. I've realized that while I hate sweeping and mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors, I'm perfectly happy to vacuum everything but the stairs (Bunny's job) once a week or so. I've started doing dishes almost every day .... and as a natural extention of doing dishes I also tidy the rest of the kitchen.

Today I even caught myself cleaning the bathroom surfaces (sink, toilet, bathtub) for the third time in a month. I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but in years past three rounds of bathroom cleaning a year from me was impressive. So why'd I clean the bathroom? Things weren't visibly dirty .... it just seemed a lot easier to give everything a simple clean now, than wait a month until things felt icky.

My cleaning needs have been growing up. When my house is clean I'm proud of it. I'm more comfortable in a clean home. If I want things clean? Well, I've got to do some cleaning.

We've slowly been taking control of our home, and our cleaning habits. We still have pockets of crazy: half of his office is a disaster zone, our tile floors are still kind of gross, no matter how many times I pick up the bedroom it's still a disaster zone, and we have a couple of problem clutter areas that keep popping up.

But holy cow, I'm slowly turning into a grown up as far as cleaning goes. And the bathroom is now, officially, on the clean list.

I'm curious, though: how often do you do basic cleaning chores? How has your relationship with tidying up changed as you've gotten older?