Sunday, October 23, 2011

pretty pretty ... oooh sparkles

So lately I'm a little fashion obsessed.

I mean, I get on the streetcar in the morning and I look around and I think "ooooh that purse is just too adorable. want. need. must have". Or "I love the way she is rocking that dress with THOSE boots" or "cute sweater! squee!" Looking at all sorts of things online that I simply Must Have.

Now, there's nothing in an of itself wrong with being a little fashion-crazy. I'm down with it. If a cute skirt and cardigan makes me happy, then really, I'm just happy I'm happy. No judgment. If having my way-too-ridiculously expensive purse makes me smile everytime I look at the lining, I'm good. I've essentially paid $2.60 a day for it since I bought it - a number that is creeping down. And if the orange leather coat makes me smile every time I put it on, or pair a new scarf with it, I'm good.

Now, the thing is, as much as I love my amazing purse and luxurious coat, and love my fancy skirts and dresses and super-cute shoes and boots and all ... but here's where it all falls apart.

One would imagine, loving fashion as I have been lately, that I might actually put some effort into what I put on in the morning, yes?
And the fact of the matter is, I completely intend to. I wake up and I think "oooh, purple plaid pencil skirt and a black top? that sounds adorable. And I could wear those sweet little black pumps I never wear, and maybe the black suede jacket." I have every intention of putting that super cute outfit on in the morning ... and then, I crawl out of bed to go pee and all I can think is:

"Coldcoldcoldcoldcold why is it so effing cold? Oh my gosh so cold. Must cuddle up back under blankets and put on warm clothes."
Because you are also looking at the chick who hides under blankets in the middle of August. Seriously, always cold. And so I turn on Breakfast Television, it tells me that it's 9* outside (colder with "wind chill" - but don't get me started on that) and I my mind goes to warm pants and fuzzy sweater. Cute outfit? Out the window.

Now, if I had a single pair of pants that a) I liked and b) fit me well, this perhaps wouldn't be a problem. Ok, pants will never be as cute as skirts, but no big. Pants can be fine. But every pair of pants I own pretty much sucks - either poorly cut, or baggy, or makes me look fat (pants inevitably make my pooch look bigger than it actually is - I have yet to find a single pair that does not do this). So as soon as I say "pants" in my head I am also giving up on "cute".
And then I make it worse by showering, but not getting the grease-ball hair clean because wet hair in cold weather? That's just not happening.

Of course, there is the easy solution to this problem.
Step 1: Get a heater for the bedroom so I don't want to hide under the covers all morning
Step 2: Buy some freaking pants that fit

Problem? I'm cheap. And I'm kinda freaking out about money right now.

See, I don't mind making the occasional splurge purchase ... but I have a lot of problems with the basic, everyday "all my underwear is old and grandma-y and I need new ones" purchases. Or the "new pants" purchase. Because, you know, I may not love the pants or underwear I have, but they stop me from going out in public naked (I wouldn't care, but everyone else might, lol), so they are good enough. Why spend money on more pants?
(This logic is also not helped by the fact that I've lost some weight recently, and it seems determined to keep coming off. Why am I going to spend money on pants right now, when I know I'm going to be in the same "all of my pants are too big/don't fit right" issue in a few months anyway? And shopping for pants is very frustrating when you've got hips like mine. And when you don't really know your size, shopping always sucks.)

But then, you know, I'm kinda being stupid here. I love cute clothes, but I won't spend my money on them. Or, I have some cute clothes, but I refuse to wear them because I'm too cold. (I seriously need to migrate south. I am not a good northern girl.) So I essentially doom myself to being un-cute most of the time. Which is stupid! Why do I even do that? Ugh.

I do need more clothes that fit, and I know it. But clothes that fit are not tooo much currently in the budget. Unless save-my-spending money strategy yeilds some seriously amazing results in that little jar (which is constantly growing!). And the fact is, I don't give myself a lot of spending money ... but there isn't really room for much more in the budget. The only places that currently have wiggle room are savings and debt-repayment ... and those are rather non-negotiable to me.

And that money has to go pretty far over the next year or so:
- Christmas is coming! Smallest year of Christmas presents ever, really, but it's still Christmas and we have a long list of people to buy for, and we do a fair amount of Christmas travelling
- My future sister-in-law's wedding ... which is in Jamaica and man is that going to be painfully expensive, but Shane and I would really like to be there
- Our wedding, because while we are trying to stick to a number that feels comfortable for us, and we don't have a crazy demands it is going to be expensive. Also, Shane and I aren't really helping matters by wanting to essentially have a big party after our wedding for everyone who we would love to celebrate with in a more low key way.

This is not helped by Bunny being in school - although I'm very glad that's where he is.

But it's big demands on our income. And I have to spend some serious time going over our budgets and seeing where our money is going vs where it needs to be going. And it is not to new clothes.

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