Monday, March 04, 2013

the shower date

One of my favourite things ever is taking a shower together with Bunny. Early in the relationship, we would do it infrequently in an attempt to be all sexy like, with all the implied awkwardness. When we moved in together, we started to do it more frequently, and the reasons started to change. Sure, showering together is sexy but more importantly it's intimate. You're all wet and naked and touching each other in this confined space and need to work your way carefully around each other and learn how to compromise and share the water spray.

When we moved in with my mom we upped the ante again. My in laws, apparently, take every single shower together and I've started to figure out why. When you share your living space, every moment you get with just the two of you is precious, and it's pretty hard to intrude on someone's shower time. Plus showering together just leads to a different kind of time. You have to pay attention to each other.

For Bunny and I, the shower has become a natural place to have casual conversations about big topics. Like whether or not me getting my hair cut is considered a fun money expense or deserves a budget catagory of its own, and where monies for vacations come from. Or we talk about dreams for the future, how we're feeling about my continued state of not being pregnant, or whatever. It's not that we expect to come up with the conclusions to the questions, but having discussions about weighty topics in the shower lets us work out our feeling very freely. It's easy to be vulnerable when you're already naked and wet (and in my case nearly blind) and all out there physically. There's nothing to hide behind.

This morning over coffee we were laughing and talking about last night's shower, and I told Bunny that showering together was like having a little mini date. We're having deep conversations, with the chance of getting lucky at the end. And if I could only have one or the other, I'd much rather have our showers together than have proper dates.

What are the little ways you encourage intimacy in your relationship?

1 comment:

  1. You are so brave to be so honest and open about this. But yes. Shower time with the husband is the sweetest.