Thursday, January 03, 2013

PMS

There have been some articles in the past few months suggesting that PMS is a myth. I take some offense to this idea, mostly from my all to common experience of having an all out crying jagg for no reason whatsoever only to see my period arrive two days later. I don't know what the deal with it is but I do without doubt get extremely moody in the week leading up to that time of the month.

The last few months for me my PMS has been its own special kind of hell. My job has me interacting with the public, and often dealing with people who even on the best of days would get on my last nerve and I can't exactly go off on them, so I spend the week trying to talk myself down while my coworkers get a kick out of my ranting and raving. I don't have the space and privacy I used to at home to just sit quietly with a book and ingore the world, and end up being testier than usual because of that.

What I hadn't counted on was the miscarriage having any effect on my PMS. The moodiness of PMS feels an awful lot like early pregnancy did. Of course when you're a woman who wants a baby and is taking the appropriate steps to make conception happen the fact is the last week or so of the cycle is a bit crazy making anyway. Am I? Am I not? The week stretches on into forever. Add in being a snotty, irritable mess and it lasts even longer. Maybe it's in my head, but I also feel like the hormones have been effecting me more these past few months.

It's like a ticking time bomb, reminding me that I want to be pregnant but that odds are I'm not. Enough of my mind is already on the possibility of babies to begin with and with the onset of crazy moodiness I become more irritable and more fixated and grumbly about the whole situation. I've found dealing with the moodiness to be more emotionally taxing than the disappointment of going to the toilet and recognizing, yet again, that I will not be having a baby yet.

Maybe it's the edge of hope when I just feel miserable that makes it so hard. I'm not sure. I could do without the whole PMS bit though.

2 comments:

  1. Oh yeah, PMS is so not a myth. I mostly get it exactly 1 day before. I will then cry about all and every single little thing, stuff that I would not normally react to, or not THAT super strongly. Do you remember Katy Kaboom from the Animaniacs? That would be me.
    At the same time, early pregnancy is supposed to make you moody, and when I have been late in the last cycles because of the treatment(otherwise I am never late), I end up googling all and every single thing I've felt. The edge of hope. It is so hard.

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    1. I think we could do some serious damage if we were ever left alone in a room PMSing together. ;)

      It's rather frustrating how many pre-menstrual symptoms are also symptoms for early pregnancy. It just leads to the yearning and hoping when you're feeling like "this could be it". When cycles are late that definitely makes it that much harder.

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