weight woes

I spend a lot of time talking about how I like to eat healthy (whole foods, home cooking, junk food home made instead of crappy and processed). This is all true, but lately it's not the whole picture. In the past month or so my occasional forays onto a scale have been making it clear that I'm not doing as well as I'd hoped. I always forget how maintaining weight can be just as much effort as losing it.

See, I have a "weight" that I consider mine, and anytime I step on the scale I expect to see a number that's within five pounds either way of that. If things are trending significantly to the high or low end of the range I get on a scale a little more often and try to watch my eating habits more. I've been coming in on that high end more often than not, and I'm not feeling so great about it.

It's been hard staying on track with a diet that's satisfying and healthy since we moved in with my mom. (Among the many other things I've struggled with.) Lack of control of the fridge and grocery lists definitely contribute. I only cook dinner a couple days a week now, so options aren't so tailored to things I enjoy eating. When store bought crap is in the house I eat it: it's why I didn't let it come in our front door before, because it was a recipe for disaster.

Being back at work, and working rotating hours (retail hours, essentially) has also played into this. I'm not in the mood to make something healthy when I walk in the front door at 9:30 and I know it. I don't always have my mornings to leisurely have a couple of lattes for breakfast and deliver some dairy with my caffeine. It's harder to maintain good habits when my schedule is all over the place.

Let's also just be upfront and say that I've just slipped into some lazy habits as well. I'm not opposed to buying the occasional bag of chips or fancy popcorn, but it's become too common of an occurence. I don't need to keep a container of gummi bears by the tv stand. It's just poor decision making on my part because I'm never happy with the result.

So I'll be paying a little more attention over the next few months to how I'm taking care of myself, and trying to make sure that I make healthy eating a priority. Crap is still totally allowed, but no more processed cookies and cakes and convenience food that I can just as easily make myself. If I want junk I can put some effort into it. It's a rule that's served me well in the past.